As I am planning for my daughter’s 8th birthday party, a sudden realization dawns upon me that she has probably spent half of her tenure in my house already, given that she will most probably be out by 18 perusing under- grads.
And that realization, the first time you realize that, kills you.
While out of house certainly doesnot mean out of heart, but it 100% will means out of sight. To be not able to see her lovely face FIRST thing in the morning while she is still curled up cozily in her bunk bed. To be able to move my fingers though her silky hair, the feeling of her soft cheeks, giving her a gentle massage while trying to wake her up from her sleep. The touch therapy is for her, but it is as much for me too. It gets my happy hormones goings.
The heart-to-heart banter about their innocent challenges. The genuine surprise on her face when I bake a new dessert for her. When they suddenly surprise you from the back with a tight hug and how will I ever live sans the warmest goodnight hug which she never misses one single day.
Noone else will ever know the strength of my love for you my baby. Afterall you are the only one who knows what my heart feels like form inside.
I know that I will always remain part of her world but I may not be THE WORLD for her. So everytime I sense anger rising within me when dealing with her, I tell myself this one line. Just one line – “These moments will become memories SOON”. And that one line calms me down. I hug her close, I want to hold her a little longer for she is a little girl for such a short while.
An Urban Nomadic 