Oh so you are NOT celebrating Diwali in “your” house? You mean, you will be in your hometown but you won’t stay at your in-laws (refers to “your” house) for Diwali?
Every year and year after year, I dread this question. To the extent that I am now tempted to not divulge the details unless really needed. I am instantly perceived as that insensitive bahu who has abandoned her in-laws, stolen the son of the house and disregarded tradition.
Today I urge all those women to #StopJudging me. When I married, I became part of 3 homes. I entered my in-laws home, I built my own nest and I CONTINUED to remain part of my parent’s home. All three homes are equally important to me, none more and none less.
Beti to khar ki Lakshmi hoti hai, then why should she leave her parent’s home empty after marriage? Why should she leave it dark EVERY Diwali? Why is she expected to do so? When parents don’t differentiate between their children based on their gender, why shouldn’t children reciprocate?
Why can’t she spend one Diwali at her Sasural and next year Diwali at her Mayaka? Wouldn’t that be fair to both set of parents?
We all do believe that our own home, the house we live in, should be lit up during Diwali but we do lock it up and go to the hometown. Why? Because, love for our parents goes beyond the love for tradition. The answer is clear.
So this is what I do. When I am at in-laws, I immerse myself in their tradition and copiously and willingly respect their values. I abide by their rituals and make my full effort to create a happy atmosphere. When in my own house, the house where I live, I do what I feel is right. And I balance out by alternating between the two parental homes when it comes to festivals. Why am I being judged here then?
Respect my choices without judging me for them. #StopJudging
This article was first publised here